Here are a few of my favorite things: Nintendo, Penny Arcade, The Legend of Zelda, Mario, Pokemon, Harvest Moon, Fallout, Dungeons and Dragons, books, dice, Professor Layton, Shadow of the Colossus, Minecraft, and so much more. I'm going to talk a lot about video games, I sincerely hope you don't mind.

Sunday, July 14, 2013

Video Game Character Spotlight: Earthworm Jim

When one thinks of heroes, you wouldn't think to add a worm to your list of esteemed bringers of justice. Unless, of course, that worm was equipped with a super advanced space suit and a ray gun capable of blasting evil squarely in its smug face. Then you'd probably have to add said worm to your list. You can even call him by his name: Earthworm Jim.

Leaping straight out of the once-great Shiny Entertainment's classic side scroller, Jim is the wormtastic, catch-phrase slinging hero of the Earthworm Jim series. He is the invertebrate with the most guts of all as he bravely takes on a slew of strange villains, perilous dangers and sometimes even falling cows. But he does it with a grin, for his adventures are the wild necessity on the road to rid each and every world of the horrible smell of evil.

“Who says you actually need a nose to know something stinks?”

Jim is tireless in his journey to fight wrong-doing, always making sure to stick up for the little guy. For he knows what it was like to be a little guy getting picked on by someone bigger than you. Once, Jim was a regular earthworm, crawling through the dirt without a thought of his own. But one day, while he was running away from a murder of hungry crows, he crawled into a strange white suit that was just laying in the ground. But as he entered the suit, he realized that it was no ordinary suit for it had suddenly given him sudden sentience, allowing him to make said realization in the first place. Mutated by the power that this super suit gave him, Jim suddenly found himself able to speak, fight with great strength and even had the use of opposable thumbs.

Now with a kicking suit and a retribution-seeking attitude, Jim fought back at his avian attackers, teaching them a lesson with his signature whiplash. But Jim knew this would not be the end of it, and sought to end the evil of everyone else who decided to pick on someone weaker just because that person happens to eat dirt.

“Just try and cut him in half. We’ll see who ends up in two pieces.”

But as it turns out for Jim, finding the super suit was just the beginning of his adventures. For even though the suit made his butt look fantastic, it was not meant to fall into Jim's hands....or lack thereof. For it was an accident brought about by the villainous bounty hunter Psy-Crow, who was transporting the suit for an even nastier weirdo, Queen Slug-for-a-Butt. Determined to pry the suit from Jim's dead, newly-acquired-hands, the whole universe sets out to pursue Jim for control of the super suit.

It all might seem too much to handle for an ordinary earthworm, but Jim is no longer an ordinary earthworm. For not only is he gifted with the super strength of the suit, but he also draws on its deadly arsenal of weapons and cosmic toys, including his trusty red ray-gun and his Pocket Rocket (we swear that's a rocket that he pulls out to travel on and absolutely nothing else). If survival weren't incentive enough, Jim also catches a glimpse of Queen Slug-for-a-Butt's sister, the beautiful Princess What's-Her-Name. And when he realizes she is being held captive, Jim rushes at the chance of being her shining knight in armor.

“He probably just wanted to show her his Pocket Rocket.”

Thus began Earthworm Jim's epic adventure that would span many different planets, several galaxies and even the inner workings of his very (and we want to emphasize the word, “very”) strange mind. But Jim's greatest foe wouldn't come from one of his dozens of villains or from the cosmic dangers he'd faced, but from an even scarier source: the real world. For while Jim's adventures were indeed epic, his developers suffered many financial setbacks which put the Earthworm Jim series into the ground.

Dead but not forgotten, Earthworm Jim still stands as a testament of all that is righteous in a hero. For where ever there is an evil butt to be kicked, Earthworm Jim will be there. Whenever a hot babe needs to be rescued from her super-jealous sister, Earthworm Jim will be there. And whenever there is a falling cow coming straight towards me, Earthworm Jim-



-Tom The Cow

Header Image: Source, Source


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