Dear Internet Explorer,
It would be extremely easy for me to start this off with, “Please go **** yourself,” but I’m classier than that. So, allow me to restart.
Dear Internet Explorer,
You make my work life miserable. Had I known that taking a real job meant using you five days of the week, eight hours a day, I might have considered unemployment, or another retail living nightmare.
May I just say how astounded I am at your lock-up frequency? Because I am. Astounded, that is. It seems that every other time I try to open a tab, or scroll within an existing one, I’m treated to a total system freeze, complete with “this program is not responding” warnings, and the maddening, spinning blue wheel.
I also need to ask a very important question: why is it that often times when I try to close a window, instead of it closing, it becomes a tab within another window? This is a very serious situation, and one that I’m certain causes a blood pressure spike in me.
Let’s take a moment to discuss how slow and choppy you are, and how many tabs I have accidentally closed because of these issues. And while we’re at it, let’s talk about the fact that you don’t have a “reopen closed tab” option! What are you, stuck in 2004?
And why, oh why why why don’t you have a built in spell checker? It’s like you’re some sort of horrifying beta program that never should have seen actual human interaction. What self-respecting, modern day software doesn’t have spell check? I am a professional, and because you somehow became the “industry standard” (please tell me you catch the heavy, sarcastic emphasis there), I have to use you.
Remember how I just said that I’m a professional? Yeah, it is kind of important for me to come across as one, but, as a human, I tend to err, so as hard as I try to type properly, typos are bound to slip through! But, no, you leave me hanging, Internet Explorer, completely editor-less, and open to making embarrassing mistakes such as “morgtage,” “tomorow,” and “waht” when my fingers are flying across the keyboard.
So you see, you’re a pathetic excuse for a web browser, and you honestly should be ashamed of your “features,” and the fact that you’re sharing the spotlight with legitimate programs such as Chrome and Firefox.
Yours in disgust,
MJ
*header image and preview image created from these images.
It would be extremely easy for me to start this off with, “Please go **** yourself,” but I’m classier than that. So, allow me to restart.
Dear Internet Explorer,
You make my work life miserable. Had I known that taking a real job meant using you five days of the week, eight hours a day, I might have considered unemployment, or another retail living nightmare.
May I just say how astounded I am at your lock-up frequency? Because I am. Astounded, that is. It seems that every other time I try to open a tab, or scroll within an existing one, I’m treated to a total system freeze, complete with “this program is not responding” warnings, and the maddening, spinning blue wheel.
I also need to ask a very important question: why is it that often times when I try to close a window, instead of it closing, it becomes a tab within another window? This is a very serious situation, and one that I’m certain causes a blood pressure spike in me.
Let’s take a moment to discuss how slow and choppy you are, and how many tabs I have accidentally closed because of these issues. And while we’re at it, let’s talk about the fact that you don’t have a “reopen closed tab” option! What are you, stuck in 2004?
This is so awkward.
And why, oh why why why don’t you have a built in spell checker? It’s like you’re some sort of horrifying beta program that never should have seen actual human interaction. What self-respecting, modern day software doesn’t have spell check? I am a professional, and because you somehow became the “industry standard” (please tell me you catch the heavy, sarcastic emphasis there), I have to use you.
Remember how I just said that I’m a professional? Yeah, it is kind of important for me to come across as one, but, as a human, I tend to err, so as hard as I try to type properly, typos are bound to slip through! But, no, you leave me hanging, Internet Explorer, completely editor-less, and open to making embarrassing mistakes such as “morgtage,” “tomorow,” and “waht” when my fingers are flying across the keyboard.
So you see, you’re a pathetic excuse for a web browser, and you honestly should be ashamed of your “features,” and the fact that you’re sharing the spotlight with legitimate programs such as Chrome and Firefox.
Yours in disgust,
MJ
*header image and preview image created from these images.
