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Greetings!

Here are a few of my favorite things: Nintendo, Penny Arcade, The Legend of Zelda, Mario, Pokemon, Harvest Moon, Fallout, Dungeons and Dragons, books, dice, Professor Layton, Shadow of the Colossus, Minecraft, and so much more. I'm going to talk a lot about video games, I sincerely hope you don't mind.

Friday, May 28, 2010

Identity crisis.

10:26 PM  Unknown  6 comments

Tonight would have been made more prefect had I been recording the entirety of my conversation with Xandre.

We discussed the difficulties of the nerd identity and our own personal identity crises. I believe crises is the plural of crisis. There are some rather big ones.

I am exhausted and about to pass out so I'll keep this short, I just wanted to get a few words on here.

My two years at Evergreen have given me a very severe identity crisis. Who am I, who do I want to be? I only just realized this sometime over the past two weeks.

I'm a gamer, I love video games. If it comes down to it, video games are my preference and my love. I'd rather be playing them over most other options, excluding human interaction. I love my gaming t-shirts, my hoodies and my references. I love having my DSi on me and checking the Pokédex app on my iPod touch when my friends and I are discussing move sets and abilities. I love it all and I want it to be a part of my life. It IS a part of my life.

One last time, even though I am speechless with excitement and anticipation regarding Ireland/Scotland/England, I am bummed as fuck that I'll be missing PAX for the first time ever. It is important enough to me to keep bitching about missing it even though I'm going off on a fantastic opportunity.

So tonight I will go to bed dreaming of my shiny Oddish, regretting not playing WoW for the past two nights, contemplating how I can get to PAX East next year and wondering what it will be like to be an Enforcer.

Goodnight.

-MJ

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6 comments:

I want to say reassuring things about your identity, but I don't know the extent of your conversation and don't want to say things you've already talked about. Anyway, don't worry about missing PAX, your time abroad will be SO much more amazing than PAX will ever be.

I'm sure that once I return I'll feel silly for all the times I said I'd be bummed about missing PAX, hehe.

The fact that you have reassuring things to say is good enough, and if you'd ever like to share them I wouldn't mind hearing them! :)

PAX East, eh? Enforcer? Would you be going to both PAXs then? I'm confused.

I'm thinking about going to PAX East in 2011 and PAX Prime 2011, and then just PAX Prime from there on out. That way I wouldn't have to wait another whole year to experience PAX! I don't believe Enforcers have to attend both PAXes.

We are not required to attend both and in fact they only accepted a certain number of west coast enforcers for PAX East this year as a way of building up a local community of enforcers in the Boston and East Coast areas.

As someone who missed PAX to be in Argentina with family, I'll tell you that there is no way you regret making that decision to be abroad but its not a thing to be compared. Even today I still wish I could have done both. Doesn't mean I wouldn't make the same choice again

However, PAX is a time when for 3 days this part of you is celebrated. When the nerd inside is wholly accepted and you are able to rejoice with every other gamer and revel in the shared memories of difficult bosses, impossible puzzles and the mixed joy and sadness when you finally beat a game and its time to leave that world. PAX is something so unique, so special that nothing compares and no PAX is ever the same.

You'll love Ireland and the opportunity will stay with you for a lifetime, this is part of your identity as well and it's just as important to nurture this piece of yourself as well as the gamer inside.

In the end it's like we talked about, you are about to embark on an incredible journey, but it makes perfect sense to be bummed about missing PAX. My suggestion is make your own PAX in Ireland. Take those few days while its going on and celebrate being a gamer with gamers around you. Play Pacman, rock band it up and re-live the legend of Zelda just one more time. Talk to people about DnD and Character creation, whether 3.5 was really the peak of systems or whether Wil Wheaton is right and 4th edition gets back to the roots of Dungeons and Dragons. Listen to Jonathan Coulton and MC Frontalot while talk to people about your favorite old school games growing up and how new games just can't compare. (not that you won't be out to buy the next Pokemon anyway. ;)

Anyway, I've ranted enough. I'm sure we'll talk more about it as we connect our Pokewalkers.

Xandre you are fabulous and I enjoyed every word of your post. It's all so true.

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