When you think of a villain, the words "adorable" and "silly" aren't usually the first to pop into your head. Unless we're talking about the world of Mario, in which case, ugliness does not exist. This universe is one of the very few that make you squeal with delight at the cuteness of the bad guys. We all know Boo, the adorable fluffy (two-faced) ghost. The Koopa Troopas (a personal favorite) are too much to handle with their little sneakers and precious waddle. And of course, even the ugliest big boss is still cute; Bowser is just about as lovable as a puppy.
There are a few villains out there who are not as widely spoken of, however. I think they deserve some time to shine, and dazzle us all with their charm and preciousness.
We first see these silly wind-up Bowser clones in the last level of Super Mario World. They are literally just little robots, but will, of course, hurt Mario on contact. They are easy to incapacitate, but will only need to wind themselves back up to get a move on again. At the last battle, you will need to use Bowser's own cute little robot clones to defeat him. Isn't it ironic?
Don't you think?
This little guy was taking us on a magic carpet ride way before Aladdin was. Making his debut in the ever-bizarre Super Mario Bros. 2, Pidgit the bird rode in on a flying carpet and stole our hearts. Like, literally. He flies into you, and you die. So, yeah, he's kind of a jerk. But he's so fat and happy looking, and he just loves his little Persian rug!
Every turn a surprise!
Technically, this cool bad guy made his first appearance in Yume Kojo: Doki Doki Panic. Which is really just the original version of Mario Bros. 2. In Yume Kojo, Mouser works for Wart, the evil Frog King. Mouser uses explosives to destroy others' good dreams. But I think he looks like a pretty chill dude.
Bro, let's go blow stuff up.
These sweet, wiggly caterpillars make their first appearance in Super Mario World. They're pretty adorable with their 8 tiny shoes and that daisy sticking out of their heads. But beware: these cuties have a temper! Jump on them and they turn a frightening red, charging with a powerfully furious demeanor. Oh, Wiggler. You're so cute when you're mad!
The original twerker.
This villain is goofy as hell. It just had to be said. But goofy as it is, Blargg is a ferocious badass, swimming around in lava by day, snarling and eating plumbers by night. They mostly reside in the Vanilla Dome of Super Mario World, but have made appearances in other physical forms (from blob-like to humanoid) in other Mario games.
Like I said, goofy as hell.
Making his debut in Super Mario Bros. 3, this stone cold, spike-encrusted meanie will pound you into a pancake if you cross his path. It has been suggested that they are born from volcanic activity, which would explain the volcanic temper. But there's just something so charming about that furrowed brow.
Okay, Thwomp. Take a chill pill.
Also originating from Yume Kojo: Doki Doki Panic/Mario Bros. 2, Birdo is a sassy gal who spits eggs or fireballs at her enemies. Birdo has made multiple appearances in newer Mario games as well, and apparently is married or engaged to Yoshi (?). At any rate, she's super weird, and adorable to boot.
Yoshi liked it, so he put a ring on it.
3. Ludwig Von Koopa
That hair! That buck-toothed grin! And I just can't get over the fact that he's based on one of the best musicians of all time. Like his namesake (Ludwig Van Beethoven), he likes to compose "Koopa Symphonies". Ludwig Von Koopa appeals to my inner child, inner gamer, and inner history buff. We can spot him first in Super Mario Brothers 3, and again in Super Mario World.
I don't think spikes were in style in the 1700s.
With a name that is an onomatopoeia for the sound it makes, Blooper is an adorable squishy squid that floats gracefully through the waters of the Mushroom Kingdom. It is one of the original baddies from Super Mario Bros., stalking Mario through treacherous waters. It can only be defeated by fireballs, but it will leave you alone if you swim away quickly enough. Cute is taken to a whole new level in Super Mario Bros. 3, when you can spot "Blooper Nanny", a full-grown Blooper with three or four baby Bloopers!
1. The Viruses
Found groovin' to the music in Dr. Mario, these three little germs are causing an epidemic in the Mushroom Kingdom. Red causes fever, Blue causes colds, and Yellow causes mutation. All Dr. Mario has to do is line up the Megavitamins just so, and Red, Blue, and Yellow will throw adorable temper tantrums as they're sent back into hibernation. Next time you're playing Dr. Mario, pay close attention to their little dances and facial expressions. They're so cute and funny, I like to think they are what's swimming around in my bloodstream when I'm feeling under the weather.
I feel sick, but I also feel like dancing.
Did I forget any? Let us know what your favorites are!