So you know how I took a five month hiatus earlier this year because I was in-between homes? Well, I'm finally in my new home! Whee! Of course, I failed to properly plan ahead and as a TRAGIC RESULT I do not yet have internet. What's a technology dependent lady to do while she awaits her home install kit? Surely I can do something more productive than sit in front of the mailbox with a box of donuts waiting for my package to arrive (not that I've done that. Yet.).
And so I'm thinking: what could I be doing? People used to have such intense and dedicated hobbies/skills. They'd read, or do needle point, or hammer on swords, or practice horseback riding for hours! The result of this internet-less madness has brought us to this moment: badass skills I wish Ihad to pass the time inthe Land Without Connectivity.
1. Knit/Crochet
From Oprah.com
I know a bunch of people who can do this, my sister especially, but I just can't get the hang of it. I tried to learn knitting when I was younger, when I was a knowledge sponge and everything should have been simple! But, no. I have watched my sister create scarves, hats, gloves, socks, toys, and more, while I look on with a mixture of jealously and simultaneous refusal to ever try again. I can't help but wonderwhat cool thingsI'd make during this week of no internet, though...
2. Churn Butter
From harvestofhistory.org
This will probably remain one of my favorite phrases ever. In February my friend's internet went out for a while, and on the day we discovered this she defeatedly proclaimed, "Guess we should start churning butter!" I laughed hysterically, because it seemed like the perfect and rational thing to say at the time. Now I can't stop thinking about it whenever the power goes out or I'm somewhere with poor cell reception or zero wifi. In all honesty though, that'd be an awesome skill to have. I'd get so buff. Plus, I love butter.
3. Whittle
From artofmanliness.com
No joke, I have always wanted to learn how to whittle. If I had to pick between it and crochet, I'd go with whittling. I could make so many badass wooden things! Then maybe my sister could knit clothes for the things?! I'd probably start off cliche and make a flute, like the one that Hagrid gives to Harry. Or perhaps I'd make my own set of Figma action figures, since theirs are mad expensive. Without the internet I'd be free to practice well into the night. That would be a good time to invest in a head lamp, too, and we all know that head lamps are neat.
4. Spin
From usf.edu You can bet I'd wear a bitchin' hat, too.
Spin as in wheel, not workout. I've seen one person using a spinning wheel before and it kind of blew my mind. Prior to that my only exposure to the things was through Sleeping Beauty. I can't deny that I felt wary of the wooden beast, with its steady motions and pointy spots. I kept a safe distance, but stared in awe. If I got into spinning I think I'd have to move out of my apartment, get some sheep, and retire from the internet forever. Oof, that hurts just to think about.
5. Costuming
From floralshowers.com
I am so into costumes and cosplay. When I was in 8th grade my mom bought me a sewing machine because I wanted to make my own clothes. Thirteen years later, however, that has yet to happen. I've made pillows, an infinity scarf, a few belt bags, one Halloween costume, and the occasional shirt alteration, but no new clothing has transpired. The patterns confound me, and I'm afraid of messing up, wasting fabric, and table flipping the whole situation out of anger. I'll be turning one of the rooms in my new place into a craft room, so maybe this is my year! Perhaps A Bit of Geek will turn suddenly into A Bit of Clothes, and I will be flooded with new and confused followers. Things might get weird.
At least Ihave my laptop for disc-based TV shows and movies (how long before "disc based" becomes an obsolete phrase?), and I've been playing a lot of Animal Crossing: New Leaf. My place also happens to be full of boxes containing things I haven't seen in roughly five years. So, yeah, forgetting to plan for internet installation is actually a good thing. Let's hear it for productivity!
Which old fashioned skills do you wish you had?
-MJ
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